It was all going so well…

With the first market of the season coming up I wanted to make some pretty jars of tasty things to adorn my nearly-naked stall. Simon suggested 30 loaves of bread, half the usual monster-batch, so things were going to look a little bare…

Beetroot and Orange relish! What else?

I peeled and grated the beetroot, pared and chopped the 10 oranges (ten!), peeled and diced the many onions, ground the fresh spices by hands and the pan looked like a vegetarian massacre…

I gently simmered it and it began to give off a ripe and heady scent, earthily sweet with a citrus and vinegar tang. In short, it was all going splendidly. I went off to my meeting, came home and went to bed….

As I drifted off to sleep I suddenly worried that I had left the cooker on so I jumped out of bed and snuck nakedly across the kitchen to check. It seemed all was well, here the switch to off, there the magic cooker light was not on so I took my return snuck back to bed.

In the morning we woke to a barbecue smell. No, Neil wasn’t joking, I had left the cooker on all through the night. Oh my too hasty eyes! I cried for my brown and limpid relish, crouched in the pan like a malicious and rancid pat, no more the tender velvet colour, the pucker sweet taste.

The only thing to show for all my hard work?


However, I did make a pretty mess in the kitchen and managed two jars of picked beetroot so all was not lost.

2 thoughts on “It was all going so well…

  1. That’s very sad. 🙂

    I’ve done that with stock – just left it cooking until oblivion. Most upsetting.

    Last night, I was using up all the left over veg that haunts my kitchen since we started getting a weekly veg box. Anyway, I was making a massive vat of uber vegetable soup. After an hour or so of cooking, it was all tasty and lovely but really under salted. So I popped a little bit of salt in, then another bit, and then, before I knew it, I had a salty inedible vat of soup. Gutted. What the hell do it do with that!? 🙁

  2. Hello! Sorry for delayed reply – been having terrible internet/website/I seem to have changed all my passwords/no save or publish buttons in evidence-style troubles of late. But here we are, back again, at the helm as it were. Too late to save the soup perhaps?

    If it were me (which it has been on more than one occasion), I would go for one of three options:

    1) Mix in a cup or two of porridge, add water, boil for five mins, feed to hens.

    2) Decant cups of soup into clear plastic bags (none o this supermarket-put-holes-into-bags-to-stop-children-suffocating-themselves-thereby-thwarting-recycling-freezing-efforts-nonsense) until you have a third left. Freeze bags of salty soup. Add more water and veg to remaining soup to reduce saltiness. Use frozen soup in similar way in the future to reduce number of potentially soupless days.

    3) Wait for soup to cool to less than boiling. Have soup fight.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *